How to Figure Out What You Want

You’re entering your midlife, your 40s, your 50s, or you’re already firmly established in this middle part of your life!

You’ve taken to contemplating, looking back, looking forward, wondering what your midlife years and beyond will be like. 

Or you’re trying to decide if what they are is what you want them to be.

You don’t want to make any hasty decisions.

You don’t want to be rash, or hey maybe you do!

You want to make sure that the life you’re living is reflecting what and who you want to be.

That is if you know who you want to be and what you want your life to be like!

It’s not called a midlife crisis for nothing you know!

But your midlife, your middle years, don’t have to be a crisis.

They can be anything you want it to be.

But that can be the tricky part right?

Figuring out what you want it to be and what life you want to live..

As Marie Forleo says though everything is figureoutable.

If you haven’t yet managed to figure it out don’t worry, you’re not alone and it’s not too late.

Okay, so you may never be the astronaut you wanted to be when you were younger.

Or the first woman prime-minister of the UK but I hear there’s an opening for the first female US president!

You can though still have a happy, thriving, fulfilled life.

An extraordinary life. 

A level 10 life.

You don’t have to settle for mediocre, for just okay, for just getting by.

In fact you don’t have to settle at all.

You have it within you to create the life that you want, a life that you love.

Yes, all that you need to do this is inside of you.

It took me far too many years to realise this.

So much wasted time not knowing that it was within my own power to achieve what I wanted to achieve.

I didn’t have to rely on anyone else to do it for me.

I could do it myself.

But, first I had to figure out what it was that I actually wanted.

What I wanted my life to look like, to feel like, to be like.

That is what you will need to do too.

Figure out what it is that you want, who you want to be, and then you can start taking the steps that you need to take to get there.

So, how do you do this?

How do you figure out what it is that you want?

To get you started on your journey to figuring out what it is that you want for yourself, and your life, here are some of my suggestions for what you can do:

1: Consider what you don’t want 

What makes you unhappy? What causes you unnecessary and unmanageable stress? What do you dread doing?

The life you create will then be one without these elements in it.

2: Explore, experiment, be curious

How do you know what you want, or don’t want, if you haven’t tried things? If you haven’t been open to new experiences and opportunities.

You may find that what you originally thought you wanted, once you tried it, was actually not something you wanted after all and vice versa.

3: Visualise your Ideal Life in 1, 3, 5 years

What does it look like? How does it feel? Be specific, be detailed.

What are you doing every day in your ideal life? Who else is in it? Where are you?

4: Visualise your Future Self in 1, 3, 5 years

What are you doing? What do you look like? How do you spend your days? Where do you live? 

5: Decide What your Intentions are for Your Life?

What are your goals for your life? Goals for your family life, for your work life, for yourself, as in your own personal growth and self-development?

6: Identify What it is that you enjoy doing? 

What Lights You Up? What are you passionate about? What brings you joy?

 What would you like to do, have, more of in your life?

7: Remember what you used to enjoy doing when you were younger?

What, as an adult, did you give up, couldn’t find the time for, that you enjoyed and got pleasure from when younger? Why is it no longer a part of your life?

8:  Write down what does and doesn’t make you feel good?

To figure out what you want, figure out what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. Include more of the formed and less of the latter!

9: Think about what do/did you get so involved in that you lost track of time?

You know? Those things that you’re so engrossed in, that you’re fully engaged in. So much so that you lose track of time and hey sometimes forget to eat as well!

10: Look at others who are living a life you want?

What is it about their life that you’d like to replicate and why? 

What are they doing to achieve this? Could you actually do what they’ve done to get to where they’ve gotten to?

11: Looking back at your life, what are your greatest achievements?

Why were they your greatest achievements? How did achieving them make you feel? What did you do to achieve them?

12: Take some time to connect with your inner self

We all have that second voice, that inner self, intuition, gut feeling, but we more often than not don’t listen to it. Yet it knows you very well and is very much aware of what you need to do to create the life you want. Take time to tune in to it.

13: Ask yourself, how would you like to be remembered?

When your life journey here on earth is at its end, how would you like to be remembered? What would you want your legacy to be?

Finally, ask yourself what would your life look like if there was absolutely nothing to stop it from being exactly how you wanted it to be?

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