‘Change is Hard at First, Messy in the Middle & Gorgeous in the End’

Our attitude and approach towards change can be hindering our ability to evolve, progress, succeed.

Some changes come naturally, others might not feel so natural. Yet it’s these which are often the most necessary to make, to make our lives more fulfilled.

My husband thinks that I don’t like change, as I tend to get anxious, and have my complaining moments, when change happens. It’s more though the degree, the amount of, the timing, the type of change and how much change that is occurring, that all contributes to my reaction to it.

I like to think that I embrace and welcome change but if I’m honest, there’s a part of me that’s frightened by it because the outcome of any change is not always certain or guaranteed.

On the other hand, whilst there’s a part of me that craves certainty, stability, security, there’s the other part that is bored by such notions and actually wants the uncertainty, the excitement, the adrenaline rush of the unknown and how things could potentially turn out.

Personally, I’ve had so many changes happen over the past few months, and years, that I sometimes wonder how I keep up with them. In fact, there are times when I forget what changes have happened, there are so many!

Change takes time for the mind and for the body to process, to work with, to accept.

Resisting Change

Too many times, especially in this day and age, people are just not prepared to give change the time it needs.

There’s a ‘quick fix’ mentality, an ‘I want it now’ attitude. Then if it doesn’t happen, they just give up and move onto the next thing, hoping for another quick fix, a speedy solution, for rapid results.

This ultimately though leads to frustration, anxiety, stress, anger, a whole myriad of feelings and emotions plus the feeling of failure. 

It can also lead to us fearing change and not wanting it to happen, especially if it’s going to take so so so so so long! 

It’s understandable that once you've made a decision that you want and/or need to make a change then you want it to happen now, to be instantaneous, that you don't have to want to wait and that you don't think you should have to. 

I get it and I also feel like that at times. I feel like I've already used up a lot of mental energy making the decision in the first place that I don't want to exert any more than necessary or, even if I haven't made the decision for the change but it's inevitable, then I just want the change to take place. 

We’ve grown so accustomed to being able to have easy access to anything in this life, that the idea of having to wait, or acknowledging that some things take time, can appear to be an alien concept to us.

We lack the patience, the long term perspective, the benefits of it taking time for change to be lasting and effective.

Working on Change

This is something that I am working on myself and I've had to acknowledge and accept that  if I want to progress, if I want to improve myself and my life, it I want to grow, to develop, to succeed then I have to welcome change, I have to embrace change and I have to be willing to make changes and allow changes to happen plus take the time for them to happen and be processed in order for them to be fully effective.

As Jen Sincero says, ‘When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.’

Maybe it's time to start to look at your life a bit more, especially as you settle into your midlife years. To see if you can start identifying any changes that you may need to start implementing to help you to start moving forward. Perhaps identify any barriers, or resistance that you have to change, look at times in the past where you've struggled to change and ask yourself why. Identify if you did manage to make the changes at that time and, if so, what helped you to do so, what did you do?

With the onset of the menopausal years, if this is you, there are going to be lots of changes that will have to be faced, managed and worked through and these will often not be ones of your own making but ones that your body and mind will naturally be going through, even though they may not feel very natural at the time!

And ... if you're getting yourself back on track from any time in your life, and finding out what it is that you want to be doing, then again changes will need to be made so that you can navigate your way to becoming who you want to be.

As Robin Sharma says 'change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end'.

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